..."It's ok to beat the shit outta someone who doesn't know you're playing slug bug."

..."It's perfectly natural to be attracted to Grandpa."

..."It's great to get your period after a one-night-stand."

..."Dad looks great with his little cardboard sign."

..."It keeps Grandma's life interesting when you crimp her oxygen tube."

..."It's perfectly natural to have a little morning sickness."

..."My pudgy tummy is kinda cute."

..."It's ok to do more than kiss on the first date."

..."It's a lot of fun to yell FIRE in a burn unit."

..."Grandma shoulda dropped dad from the TOP of the stairs."

..."When Grandma was pregnant with dad, she shoulda used a longer coat hanger....in the FIRST trimester."

..."When the principal is yelling at you, just laugh and walk away."

..."Grandma can go get her own damn coffee."